There are two main categories of shameful developments that effectively prevented greater success for the Human Shield Action; 1) Selfish lust for the spotlight and power. 2) Direct infiltration and subversion by enemy agents such as those within MI-6, CIA or any other so-called "intelligence service."

I was of course charged with guilt on both of the above counts. But the truth is that I gave every ounce of my being into the action and when I decided to go to Iraq I had no way of knowing that anybody else would come with me. I decided to go because I saw the pre-emptive Bush Doctrine as collective suicide for humanity by virtue of the precedent it would set for any nation to attack it's "perceived" enemy. I also felt a personal need to go to Iraq because of my participation in the first Gulf Slaughter as a US Marine. When I told my loved ones I was going to Iraq "alone or not" they all thought I was nuts; even though virtually all of them also opposed the coming invasion. The picture above shows just how wrecked I was physically; this was the day we departed London in an absolute media frenzy; I had no sleep the night before and was working 18-22 hour days on average for the month leading up to the departure. Despite this many who ultimately did join the action would soon be manipulated into believing or actively manipulating others into believing that I was the greatest threat to the success of the action itself. Irony does not even begin to explain this sad development and I am still somewhat shocked at the stupidity of some in the action with regard to their quick judgment about me based on a pack of lies.

If I made any major mistake it was to initiate the action too late. If I had started the planning earlier I could have had greater control over who was in key positions that required total trust. Instead I was forced to take anyone and everyone at face value because the work load was so overwhelming; so I trusted all the people who came and some of them were absolute poison. These people did more harm to the action than all the major powers that were always poised to attack; and this is standard really. The pain I endured in seeing the action which was very much my baby turn into a fiasco was intense, in the midst of it all it did cause me too withdrawal to a degree but in the end I am stronger and wiser than ever and I have every intention to take that pain and turn it into a powerful force for good. Make no mistake about this, my biggest goal in life is a better world and despite my human flaws which are amplified by my intensity and passion, I am in my own way completely devoted to that cause.

No matter what, I have no regrets about the action at all, I am proud of what I did and so many others within it. We took a stand against a disgusting invasion and mass murder and no sane person could fault us in that. The fact is that we put real fear into the powers that be by putting white Western life in the same harms way that seemingly worthless Iraqi (non-white) life was soon to endure; an idea that threatens the political viability of all aspects of the farce known as the "War on Terror." We also helped more people realize the immense power we as people have to transcend and defy our bullshit non-democratic, non-representative governments and ultimately effect a better world.